Chemo… Stuff You Might Wanna Know

Chemo… Stuff You Might Wanna Know

The world of cancer is a different world. In that world, when you meet another patient, you don't ask, "What do you do?" Or, "where are you from?" ….You ask "What do you have?" And, "What are you taking?" Unfortunately, it's a much bigger world than you might think, because one way or another, cancer touches all of us.
Women and men with cancer live every day with a mind bending weight on their shoulders. Even though I don't have cancer anymore, I still live with some level of fear every day. We tiptoe on the razor-edge of mortality, one hand touching the heavens, the other grabbing the earth. We juggle dying with living while paying the bills, doing the grocery shopping, picking up the kids, changing the oil, fixing that damn leaky pipe. Are we not “surviving” while managing the demands of a busy life? The planet doesn’t stop and wait for us to get well, so why should we? And why should anyone define us as anything other than the dynamic hot tomatoes that we are?

Sickness

For about two hours after the first chemo, I was totally fine. So I was thinking "wow, this is nothing. I am totally going to kick a** with this". Boy, I was wrong!! I went to a stage that I have never been to before. I can't remember anything that has happened for the entire week!! It has been dark hard days of being trapped inside the house and not being able to get out! My White blood cell counts came down to only 600(out of 10000), so I had to isolate myself from the rest of the world. My troops were totally killed, worse than Vietnam war!

The severe nausea, achiness, and hair loss took a toll on me. It wasn’t long before I lost my long black hair. My hair was my signature thing! I loved my hair. Now almost a two year survivor, even though my hair is almost to my shoulder now, I still am not used it.

But the whole experience changed my view toward life. Why had I neglected myself for so long? I had an inner voice, I knew better, so why did I ignore it? It is all a process, and change takes time. Cancer is a strong wind that can completely uproot you if you don't sway with it. Cancer made me say" Screw it and do it"!!  I am not going to lie. There were days that I felt like a scared little kid who just wants to hide under my parents' bed. I want to be protected by the grown-ups, to be fed grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup with goldfish crackers, to be told that if I finished my lunch it would all go away.
But since I wasn’t able to go back to the past, I thought I should plan my future. Most of us spend the better part of our twenties and thirties longing for Mr. or Ms. Right and the perfect job. Once we nab that, it's off to that dream house. How many times as we think of our lives as REALLY starting when "this" happens? Why does it take a challenge to our survival for us to give ourselves permission to really live? Why don't we accept the gift of life as our birthright?

Weight

Gain weight was the other issue it came with my cancer! I was always fit, and thin. Then came all the steroid meds with breast cancer. Every time I went to the doctor, I would ask the nurse" What is my weight?" She would smile and say: "let's see" and start counting up ………..Translation: Holy Shit!!
I would ask non-stop “What am I going to do now? How am I going to lose it? Is there an option? Any pills? By-pass surgery? Tummy tuck?”

I know it sounds like as I am a superficial person, but having cancer, being bald, and have a fat ass, all at the same time, didn’t go well with me. Just know, that as soon as you kick the cancer’s ass, it all will go back to normal.

Best Advice
When you are sick:
1.choose the right doctor:
When I found my lump,I was sent to have a mamagram done. If any medical facility was the rusted-out chevette of the cancer hospitals, this one was a Bently. The radiologist (Let's call him Dr. Richards, or DICK for short) finally called me in. Never once he apologized for keeping me waiting."Well, we found something suspicious. We don’t know if  it's cancer, but even if it is, it is so little that I wouldn't even call it cancer"
Huh?..You can call a chair if you want, but that doesn't make it one, does it? He refered me to a breast surgeon ( who happened to be fantastic). After all, it happened to be cancer, and a very fast growing and dangerous one. Yes it was small, and was caught very early, but to me Dr. Dick was a jerk who needed a good ol'-fashioned spatula spanking. No hard feelings, but sorry Dr. Dick, you're under qualified. Next!

2. Get organized:
Since you have a lot on your plate, It's important to devise a strategy for success. Is Warren Buffet wishy-washy? Does he say things like 'I can't decide' or 'whatever you think'? No. When he say jump, his staff crack their heads on the ceiling! Your very first job as a CEO of your cancer company is to hand-pick a save-my-ass staff of family, friends, and doctors.

3. Find someone to talk to:
Life is messy and inconsistent. Even though I am a Sagittarius who loves the wild life, cancer was too much craziness. I needed to talk about my displaced anger or I'd end up in a women's correctional facility. So I picked up the phone and called my sister. I cried through the entire box of Kleenex-brand tissues. But seventy-five times later, I felt better.

4. Fight the depression:
Dealing with the depression was far more painful than the actual cancer. I thought I was safe. I used to pride myself on walking the edge, dangling, and recovering right before the big drop. I got high on it! But cancer gets the last laugh. Funny, I always knew something big would happen in my life, I just didn't know it would be like this! But fight that depression! You will survive this.

5. Thank the co-survivors:
Catch these important people in your life off guard; out of nowhere tell them how grateful you are. It will mean more than you know.

To do list

I just saw the movie "The Bucket List". Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman's characters get the news that they're going to die of cancer, and soon, they set out to do all the things they always wanted to do before they kicked the bucket-- skydive, climb Everest, see the Pyramids, travel the world. Sounds like a blast! And yet there are also so many great adventures to take on the inward bound journey as well. Are they mutually exclusive? No. But can you truly see the pyramids if your lens is fogged? The most breath-taking sunrise will blur then. Do you know what I mean? Ever feel like your life is living you? A break from your routine is what you need. When the going gets too tough, go on vacation! Even if it’s just for a long weekend, recharge your batteries on a mini soul vacation. What’s the saying? “Sometimes you have to leave home to find it.”

Cancer puts us on the rim and while we are on the rim we have an opportunity to appreciate and express fear simultaneously. Fear can be exhilarating! We are given more freedom to sail into flight and take great freaky leaps. Why not? ...The worst that can happen already has!!!
Let's create a “bucket list” = a life list, one that we should continuously be checking off. Because you are part of this care page and my journey, part of your list should include educating yourself and bringing health and vitality to your life. This year let’s direct more energy and effort towards the inward bound. And yet, the Hollywood version of "the bucket list" reminds us to DO the stuff instead of just reading about it.
Part of my "bucket list" is:

- Say it like it is!
- Eat smart
- Live like you mean it
- Speak up
- Plan for a long future BUT live in the moment
-Use your knowledge to help and educate young cancer patients
-Get a tattoo!!
-Take a wild vacation with my girlfriends

What is your Bucket List?

Some of you may have been stamped with an expiration date like an old carton of milk in the back of fridge, you have been told that your days are numbered. I want to remind you that nobody can predict the future. It's just information. It's not impossible.



By Tetika Buchheit DC and Breast Cancer mAssKicker

Medical Disclaimer
This website is designed to provide additional information to patients and their loved ones when faced with intimidating diagnoses. A physician or medical professional should be consulted before making any health related decisions. We serve as a portal for information so that an informed and efficient decision can be concluded by all parties involved.  The creators of this site are not responsible or liable, directly or indirectly, for any form of damages whatsoever resulting from the use (or misuse) of information contained in or implied by the content of this website. The purpose of the mAss Kickers is to empower people with knowledge, not to specifically advise people how to address each unique situation.